Your struggles develop your strengths


“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths.”

— Arnold Schwarzenegger

My desktop screenshot of Momentum add-on on June 24, 2017. A perfect quote and a perfect image.


Okay, I am not very good with TBRs or read-a-thons or read-a-longs as I am a moody reader and prefer to read what I want to read in a particular moment. But when I watched George’s video on YouTube announcing Queer Read-A-Thon, I just had to sign up! I mean, I read queer lit anyway, and it is Pride Month, so I am going to do it!

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I have been a fan of Sherlock since late 2010. I watched first season in my hotel room in Granada, Spain. I was immediately captivated by the show (and Benedict’s Sherlock, let’s be honest here) and was crushed that there was only three episodes in the season.

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Today I wrote on my door in chalk: “Excuse the yelling. Filming in progress.”

The script was ready. It was in my hands. Absolutely perfect. I needed someone to read it though.

Eventually as I was running out of time, I had to resolve to read it as monologue myself.

I ran to the door and yelled: “Freddie!! NOOO!!!” And then stopped short realizing that I was probably making too much noise.

But I needed to film it because the script was so good.

And then I woke up.

And what did you dream of last night?

Bulldog princess

I met this adorably puppy (okay, so she is three years old, not exactly a puppy but still) last weekend and even managed to snap some photos of her. Even though she was mostly ignoring me. Her name is Stella and she gets extra kudos for enduring our aimless wandering through the park with nothing but a short breath. She is the most chill and calm dog I have ever seen. 

What are your dreams made of?


This night I had lengthy conversations with a certified psychopath, recently released from jail, who was trying to convince me that he was fully reformed and law-abiding now. His bald head and weasel like features filled me with revulsion that I was trying to suppress and be open minded, because miracles do happen and everyone deserves a second chance. However. Our conversations mostly took place in narrow corridors which made me both uncomfortable and also acutely aware of this man’s presence.

Some corridors were filled with clothes racks. (Most probably because I spent 3 days browsing Ikea website.) I saw man’s boots and a trench-coat peaking from a hollow in a wall. I thought it was a real person, but it turned out to be a mannequin. Everything was different shades of grey and dull. Not a fun place.

At the end of our conversation, the psychopath (I don’t know his name, but this is how I was referring to him in my mind) asked me if I trusted his words. It was hard not to laugh.

I answered, “As much as I trust any other man unknown to me”.  Which is both true and untrue. I did not trust him, but I didn’t want to be offensive either (which is my common modus operandi and quite often puts me into awkward situations).

I did not trust the psychopath to walk behind me. Only ahead of me.

There was also a staged scene in which a couple wakes up to find a dead girl in their bed – right between them. I though that the wife didn’t perform the scream exactly how I would have done it. Although I admit that feeling a living person’s hand on your buttock is not the same as a dead body’s. But this is what is acting for, right?

(I swear, I am not crazy.)

This sounds like a nightmare but it was not, because I was in control. Plus, there was also a lovely image of a bare chested Santiago Cabrera (Aramis from BBC The Musketeers) who certainly did cheer me up a lot. (Thank you, dream gods!) He was glorious to watch with other people too.

There were five of us in the room. (Which quite disturbingly coincides with something that my grandmother told me this morning – although his number 5 is wrong on all accounts.) He was sitting on the floor, crosslegged, and leaning over to some other blond guy for a cigarette. There was someone else in the room, whom I didn’t know. The myself and the psychopath.

It could have turned into a murder mysteries – I have had those before – but I forced myself to wake up, because I didn’t want to spoil my image of a shirtless Cabrera by anything else.

Now let me return to my cold coffee and other matters of equal importance.

p.s. I updated my blog’s layout! It involved some CSS skills – I feel very proud of myself.

September Read-A-Thons

I should have titled this post something like “September Read-A-Thons or How to Make Myself Even More Stressed During Vacation”, because I will, hopefully, be away on vacation in September for about 3 weeks. Naturally, I do plan to take books with me (and I will post my TBR online) …