I have been wanting to write a blog post about my relationship with Kpop for awhile now. I think it is the right time now as there is more focus of international media on Kpop industry. With the involvement of so many international outlets and fans talking about Kpop, I would like to share my own experience with Kpop.

A little disclaimer before I start. I’m a long-time Kpop/Jpop/Jrock music fan and not an industry expert. All opinions are mine. This will be a long post, so bear with me.

I have always been interested in Asian cultures and languages, particularly in the Japanese language and Buddhism. I studied Japanese for about 3 years but had to quit due to University study load. It saddened me, and I am hoping to get back to it at some point.

I used to really like anime and even was a part of an anime club at some point. From anime, I discovered Jpop and Jrock and was absolutely smitten by some groups (Gackt was my main obsession for years, but I also listened to other visual key and Jrock bands, like Dir En Grey, Malice Mizer, Miyavi, Hyde, etc.).

And somehow by proxy, I discovered Kpop.

I always associated Jpop with doll-like female groups and solo singers who vary between sugary cute and weird-like cute, neither of which I found appealing. Although I do appreciate cosplay and lolita style, it is not exactly my thing. Meanwhile, Jrock has lots of “visual key” and theatrical dramatism. I started listening to Japanese artists around 2001-2002, and from what I can see now, the musical style hasn’t changed that much for Jpop/Jrock. There are just more hip-hop and rap elements in it now. But, as I said, it’s been a while since I really listened to Japanese musicians, so I might be wrong.

I think that the very first Kpop artists that I discovered were BoA and Shinhwa. BoA produced a song for some anime, and this is how I got to listen to her, and I swear she has such a distinctive voice, I will always recognize her songs.

Shinhwa was the first Korean boy band I listened too. Even back then, they were already a mature group with several albums under their belt. I started listening to them when they left SM Entertainment and released their seventh studio album “Brand New”, and I still own a copy of it. They are the longest running Kpop group ever, recently celebrating their 20th anniversary. They are considered to be the first generation of Kpop idols.

And then came TVXQ.

Well, at first they were spelled as DBSK or DBSG (DongBangShinKi), which loosely translated as “Rising Gods of the East” (because, of course), later adopting Tohoshinki for the Japanese market, and TVXQ (they even have TVfXQ spelling at some point) for the international fanbase.

They were a 5 member Kpop band that came out with the debut single “Hug” in 2004 under SM Entertainment. That music video is still one of my favourites as it is just so cute and soft. (Basically, “uwu”.)

I was smitten.

I became an instant fan and supported the guys throughout the years by buying their albums, DVDs, merch and photobooks. I used to be quite active in the fandom on LiveJournal (remember that one, eh?), which was my primary source of images, gifs, interviews, videos, etc. Since I do not speak Korean, I had only English speaking fandom to communicate with and was much like many fans dependant on a few those who spoke the language.

Back then, nobody listened to Jpop or Kpop or even knew what it was. (I am obviously speaking about the place where I grew up, which was years ago, and things have, naturally, changed). I was criticized by my mom for listening to “those ugly guys” (TVXQ), by my dad for listening to “mewing” (songs by Gackt and Dir En Grey). My friends teased me for swooning over underaged boys (the members were between 15-16 years old when they debuted).

Whenever I had to explain what kind of music I liked to anyone else, I was overcome by embarrassment as I had to repeat over and over again, that “no, they are Korean/Japanese”, “yes, they sing in Korean/Japanese”, “no, I do not understand the words”, “yes, they are wearing make up”, “no, they are not gay”, etc.

I did not have many people to discuss my love for Jrock or Kpop, and it also felt as if there was not as much information, to begin with. Since it was the time before Twitter, Instagram or Tumblr, the only community I had was on Livejournal, and the international fanbase of TVXQ, for example, wasn’t as big as compared to what we have nowadays.

The lack of information and the ability to follow artists on social media made the news of TVXQ break-up even more shocking for me. In July 2009, three members of the group, Kim Jaejoong, Park Yoochun, Kim Junsu, filed a lawsuit against their company SM Entertainment.

I was devastated. I tried to be supportive, as the rumours of SM mistreating their artists were circulating for some time, but it was still hard as my favourite trio was separating from two other guys and all of my thoughts and dreams of ever seeing them live crumbled. (I am not going to discuss the details of that lawsuit, because, for me, the result was more important. There was not going to be my favourite group anymore.)

After some time, the trio joined together as JYJ and released a couple of albums and singles that I really liked. Meanwhile, after a year-long hiatus, the two remaining members continued as TVXQ, and they are still active.

TVXQ is one of the most successful Kpop groups of their generation, and their music will forever mean something special to me. They are from the same second generation of Kpop idols as Super Junior (that I was never too fond of, but Kim Heechul is still my bias - he actually trained with Jaejoong and Yunho and they were supposed to debut together), so I don’t think that a lot of current Kpop fans know them well. Although they were and still are successful.

Even though I supported JYJ, I couldn't listen to the TVXQ duo - and I still haven’t to this day. I can write a whole separate post on how much the group meant to me and how unfair I found a lot of things that were happening. After their departure from SM Entertainment, the trio was virtually banned by the media, making the promotions in Korea very limited. They focused on the international markets of Japan and China.

JYJ is somewhat on a hiatus at the moment as well, since Yoochun has retired from the music industry following a drug scandal (and I still have a lot of feelings about that news), and both Junsu and Jaejoong are pursuing solo careers.

Which brings me to the fact that I didn’t listen to any Kpop between 2011 and early 2019. I was actively avoiding it, to be honest. I moved to Toronto and left all of my Kpop CDs at my parents’.

And then, I came across “Hero” MV by Monsta X.

I was immediately sucked back into Kpop. I missed so many things, so many groups, that it felt as if it was going to take me years to catch up. And all the information, including candid photos, fan theories and videos were readily available for me. People were talking about Kpop freely as if it is not a big deal (and it was a huge deal in my time). There are stores in Toronto, where you can buy merchandise, and online shopping is not restricted to YesAsia or eBay.

I got to see Monsta X live in August of this year in NYC, and I still can’t believe it actually happened. I want to pinch myself. Or print a million copies of the grainy photo of a shirtless Wonho.

I am obviously on an older spectrum of Kpop fanbase, but even so, I am not laughed at or ridiculed by people when I say that I like Kpop. I can buy Kpop music on iTunes. I went to see “Bring the Soul” at my local cinema. I still can’t believe that all of those things are accessible for me now, and that is why I want to vocal about my love for Kpop and support for Monsta X and its member Wonho on my blog. I want my voice to be heard as it is not something that I could do 10 years ago.

(Continuation in my next blog)

*Images not mine. Using for reference only.